Conan The Barbarian Review

Conan The Barbarian Review

Some movies don't age well. They are just not built to stand the test of time. The original Conan the Barbarian is not one of these films. The Arnold Schwarzenegger version of the Robert E. Howard comic book hero is truly a classic. From the action, to the story written by Oliver Stone, everything was perfect for a Conan movie. Despite being great it is now nearly 20 years old and I don't think an Arnold helmed Conan movie works anymore. So in order to bring it back they had to re-boot.

So we are treated to a new take on the origin story. The movie begins with Conan's birth on the battlefield, cut from his mother as she lay dying. The movie then shifts to Conan as a young boy. It is here we are given our first, and really best, action sequence of the movie. Conan even as a young boy shows vicious and dangerous skill as a killer. He not only kills 3 rival tribesmen he single handedly destroys and decapitates them. He has proven his manhood and begins his training at his father's side. Not long after this Conan's village is attacked by Khalar Zym, a ruthless barbarian on a quest for power. Khalar burns the village kills Conan's Father and leaves Conan for dead. Conan, of course, survives and swears to avenge his father's death by hunting and killing Khalar Zym. The remainder of the movie is just that, Conan hunting and killing those involved in the murder of his father.

My biggest problem with a re-boot of any movie, especially origin stories, is that they typically rehash and repeat so many of the same story elements that the story is not new or fresh, and thus are boring. Unfortunately for us the 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian is just that, a boring and repetitive rehash.

Jason Momoa takes the title role, and looks appropriate in the part. He is big, muscular and wields a sword quite well. His acting isn't good, but it doesn't have to be, he is asked to be a perfect warrior and he does. The real acting in the movie should have come from the villains played by Stephen Lange and Rose Mcgowan. Alas, these two play nothing more than wooden characters with little or no gravity. Also painful to watch is Rachel Nichols. Nichols play a priestess who is being hunted by Khalar in order to complete a blood ritual that will complete his quest for ultimate power. I wasn't expecting high quality acting but I wasn't expecting below B level acting.

My biggest issues with the film are not with the acting, but with its plot, or lack there of. The movie is nothing more than a string of battle sequences, each more dull than the prior. From start to finish the movie is driven not by a story, or even a plot, but by any excuse to crash through walls and clash swords. The whole movie is just nonsense and I tired of it very quickly.

The worst of it is that it looks good. Marcus Nispel does a very good job of bringing the world of Conan to life. If he had spent as much time directing the action sequences, and bringing something new to them, then the movie might have been much much more exciting.